Attack of the Killer Munchkin

How I sit down in our living room is as much a strategic decision as a comfort-related one. This is because the Munchkin, my precious little girl with the sweet smile, also doubles as a monkey. She just learned how to climb up on my bed, and she’s had the capability of climbing up on our (admittedly low) couches and captain’s chair for some months. This is good, because she is very physically capable, and bad, because she attacks.

Due to expecting Munchkin #2, I like to lie down on the couch. This apparently leads Munchkin #1 to think that Mommy must want to hold her. Or at least that Mommy is asking to be sat on. I’ve had my face kicked, hair pulled, head butted, hip stood on – I can feel very abused and beaten by the end of the day by this toddler. I can pull her off me and scold, but like most toddlers, it goes in one ear and out the other. I tried to watch the new pope coverage this morning, and nearly got my hip dislocated when she tried to use it as a balance beam.

The difficulty is, now she’s starting to pounce on my lower abdomen, which houses her baby brother. This had led to instant hauling-off and yelling (because it is painful), which can upset the Munchkin. When imminent danger has passed, I hug her and tell her firmly that she is quite brutal and to go beat up her father. I hate yelling at her, but I have my own comfort and Munchkin #2 to think about.

She will grow out of this, I think. I hope. Either that or we’ll have to get her baby brother hockey padding before he’s a year old.

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