To my kids…

Dear Munchkin and Baby Boy,

You two mean the world to me. That being said, if you don’t kill each other first, you’re gonna kill me.

And I’m only half joking.

For Mother’s Day, here’s what I would really like to see from the two of you:

Munchkin – Could you please not walk around the house with a blanket over your head? Not only do you end up walking into walls that way (which you seem to find hysterically funny), but you also seem to have this impulse to swallow up your brother in the blanket like some kind of demented Horta. If you haven’t noticed, he doesn’t like it. In fact, he cries when you do this. Short of hiding all the blankets in the house from you, I am requesting that you stop. Now. Before someone really gets hurt.

I would also would like you to not whine at the top of your lungs when I cannot instantly fulfill one of your many and varied requests. Crying is also not an option. If I can’t get you some juice at the very instant that I am also changing your brother’s diaper, it should be clear to you why I can’t. Let’s work on this.

And I also doesn’t need you being my alarm clock either. Walking into Mommy and Daddy’s room and yelling, “I awake! Mommy, I want break-tus!” does not start off the morning in the quiet way that I need. Let us remember that Mommy is not a morning person, please.

Baby Boy – You are nine months old today (!), and while I appreciate all the new skills that you are learning and are so proud of showing off, Mommy will suffer a heart attack if you decide to start walking in the next few days. Just because your sister took her first steps four days after she turned nine months old doesn’t mean that you have to. You can keep working on the standing alone for a few more months with Mommy’s blessing. You have to be able to stand steady and not like a drunken sailor to walk, anyway.

Also, the biting has to stop. It hurts. We all know you have teeth. They are very cute. And it’s sort of funny when you bite Mommy’s shirt and come up with fabric in your mouth. But then you manage to nip my shoulder and the fun ends. I am seconded in this request by Daddy. Biting is bad. We will buy you more teethers if needed, but you have some at the moment that should be able to fulfill your chomping needs without human flesh to sink your teeth into. And if you bite me while I am nursing you again, Mommy is going to seriously re-think her plans to nurse you until your first birthday.

Despite these few minor things, Mommy loves you both very much. You brighten up my life with your smiles, hugs, kisses and antics. I wouldn’t be a mom without you.

Love,
Mommy

This entry was posted on Friday, May 12th, 2006 at 12:57 am and is filed under Children, Mommyhood.
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