Eyes and ears and mouth and nose

I had my annual eye exam last Monday. I’ve been going to the same optomotrist since I was 13, so it’s always interesting to go in and chat once a year. However, Monday was the big torrential rain and flood day around here, so instead of dropping Tad off at my parents’ house while I was getting my checkup, he had to go with me.

I did bribe him with a new Matchbox car (so he could have one for each hand), and I picked a nice red Audi for him. Tad sat in the stroller while I proved once again that my eyesight sucks, and he behaved quite nicely. The optomotrist thought Tad was quite amusing.

Yes, my eyesight is terrible. I got my first pair of glasses at age nine, and I got contacts at 15. Friend once read my prescription for contacts – it was posted on the fridge so I wouldn’t lose it – and really couldn’t believe that my eyes were THAT bad. Yes, they are. My left eye is better than my right, which means it is at -625 sphere, as compared to a -900 sphere.

I told you they were bad. I have never asked what they are on the 20/20 scale, because, frankly, it’s probably too depressing.

By contrast, the Webmaster has 20/15 vision and has never worn glasses or contacts. But he is colorblind, so the balance of the Force is preserved (ha ha).

Since the kids can’t be colorblind (they would have to inherit it from me, though Ane’s sons could be colorblind someday), my only hope is that they get his eyesight and not mine.

*****

Tad had a hearing test on Friday at the speech clinic (which also is a hearing clinic). This is one of those things that we were supposed to do at the beginning of speech therapy, apparently, so when I brought it up at our last appointment, Therapist #2’s jaw hit the floor. “You mean you never had it done??? Oh, I am so sorry – we were supposed to do that!” she said in horror.

So, Tad sat as still as is possible for him (which means not very long at all), but long enough to discover that his only hearing problem is that he has selective hearing.

Meaning, his hearing is completely normal, and the only problem with it is that he is a two-year-old BOY.

Still, it’s one more thing off the table. Now I know that he can hear me when I tell him “no.”

*****

I went shopping for stocking stuffers for Ane and Tad (shhh… don’t tell) at Target, and hit upon the idea of giving them cool toothbrushes. Ane is getting a lavender Little Mermaid toothbrush, and Tad is getting a red Cat in the Hat toothbrush (he STILL loves that book – he will hand it to us and say, “Cat? Cat? Peeze?”).

Santa Mommy also bought toothpaste for Tad, and shampoo for Ane. Santa Mommy has become her own Mommy in buying tolietries for the kids’ stockings. This horrified the Webmaster when he went through his first Christmas with my family, but this is a family tradition for us to get tolietries in our stockings. It is a cheap way to fill up a stocking, you know.

And hey, they’re getting cool toothbrushes out of the deal.

*****

Tad woke up yesterday crying loudly, then got out of bed to look for us. The Webmaster intercepted him in the hallway, and let out a startled yell. “He has a bloody nose!” he cried.

I took one look at the poor boy and told the Webmaster to strip him down and wash him off in the bathtub. His entire face was crusted with blood, it was soaked into his pajamas, and his nose was still bleeding. I turned on the light in his room and discovered that his pillow had two head-sized puddles of fresh and drying blood on it. His nose had started to bleed while he was asleep, and the end result was that we had to throw the pillow away. Almost everything in the bed went for an ammonia and cold water soak, including the pillowcase, bedsheet, his favorite blanket and his jammies. I did find some blood spots on Bunny and Kitty, but I was able to spot-wash them out with cold water. They’ll get full “baths” later, but at least they are okay.

All the blood came out of the clothes and sheets. And he has a clean pillow. We played musical pillows – he got mine, because I’ve flattened it down, I got the Webmaster’s second pillow that he keeps in a pillow sham, which is still quite fluffy, and my mother picked up a new two-pack of pillows today at Costco for us, so the Webmaster will get a brand-new pillow.

Poor Tad. I remember the bloody noses I had as a kid. It seems that both of my kids have inherited that unfortunate trait.

Well, as long as they get their Dad’s eyesight, I guess it’s okay.

This entry was posted on Saturday, December 8th, 2007 at 1:14 am and is filed under Children, Husbands, Mommyhood.
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