Sad News

It is with sorrow that I have to report that the Webmaster’s paternal grandmother passed away last Thursday in Colorado. Papa (the Webmaster’s father) was with her. She had taken a bad fall a few weeks ago, and was diagnosed with a torn aorta after being found unable to get up at her own home. She decided against surgery, and died in the hospice wing of the hospital.

While the Webmaster obviously knew her better than any of the rest of us at the Corner Haus did, I still feel a profound sense of sadness at the news. I met her only twice – at my wedding and during her one and only visit here after that, in 2007. That was the only time that Ane and Tad ever met this great-grandma. Her passing has no impact on our lives at all, which I guess is why I find this so sad.

The Webmaster was very close to his maternal grandmother, who passed away in November 2007, and we made sure that the kids saw her every time that we visited his parents in the Webmaster’s hometown. When Great-Grandma died, Ane was quite aware of what had happened, and we went to the funeral. But this time, this Great-Grandma is being buried several states away, and I’m not sure there will even be a funeral or service of any kind – not that we could afford to travel to Colorado right now.

Why am I not sure there will be a funeral? Great-Grandma had two children – Papa and his brother, the Webmaster’s uncle. The Webmaster’s uncle died of cancer back in 2005, while I was pregnant with Tad. He never married and had no children. The Webmaster is an only child, and Ane and Tad are the only great-grandchildren. Sheer numbers and location are guiding my guesses. Plus, Great-Grandma was a very private and self-contained lady, and most of her siblings and other family are either out-of-state or have predeceased her.

I wish that Great-Grandma had made the decision to move to the Webmaster’s hometown to be closer to his parents some years ago, as they were trying to talk her into doing. She refused, for many reasons, which was always disappointing when the subject came up. I knew she could be a stubborn and opinionated lady, but I knew it would be better if she had some family nearby. But it never seemed to be a compelling enough argument for her.

In the end, she got her way, and I regret that she made the choice to stay in her own home, when she could have been close enough to see her only great-grandchildren regularly, and perhaps give them some memory of her. The one time the kids did see her, she refused to sit for a picture with them, which drove me bonkers. I tried snapping some surreptitious pictures, but none of them were fantastic. Then we lost several pictures of that visit in a terrible example of what happens when you don’t back up your pictures, and there were never any other chances. Nana had some pictures of that visit, so it isn’t as if they’re aren’t any, but compared to all the pictures that we have of the kids with their other great-grandmothers, it seems pitiful.

Still, I think it was more important to Great-Grandma that she make her own decisions and be in control up to the very end, which she very nearly was. She was ready to die and was resigned to it. The Webmaster spoke to her for the last time after his father arrived to be with her about a week before she died, and in their last conversation she had her wits all about her and displayed her usual stubborn streak. She was 86 years old.

Rest in peace, Great-Grandma.

This entry was posted on Monday, August 3rd, 2009 at 12:31 am and is filed under Family.
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