Tad Speaks – Being Angry

Tad likes to unwind after school by watching something fun.  However, if the TV is on, it means that Ane (who, like all kids, is easily distracted by the idiot box) is not doing her homework.  She may be sitting at the kitchen table, pencil in hand, paper in front of her, but her eyes are on the tube.

So, no TV until she gets her homework done.  (Her solution was to get a desk for her room, but I’m not sure that will work, either.  She claims her brothers are distracting her, not the TV.  But I notice that she’s not watching them.)

Last week. Tad stomped into the kitchen while Ane and I were working on her math homework.  He really wanted to watch Curious George.  I had told him no.  “Mama, I so angry with you!”  he fumed.

“I’m sorry, Tad, but you can’t watch TV until Ane is done with her homework,” I replied calmly, hiding my amusement at his frowny face.

His face screwed up even tighter.  “I going to my room!” he announced, and he stomped back out of the kitchen.

I blinked.  Does he think he’s punishing me?

About 10 minutes later, I checked in on him.  There Tad was, sitting calmly on his captain’s bed (have I mentioned lately how much he loves his bed?  He LOVES his bed), with a stack of about 4 or 5 books in his lap, reading quietly to himself.

I backed away quietly while my insides were doing the dance of joy.  He was angry.  He told me he was angry.  He didn’t lash out.  Instead of being destructive, he was constructive.  He solved his own problem, and defused his own frustration.  I stared in wonder at this boy, who so often gets caught up in the shifting sands of his autism that he can’t express himself properly to ask simple questions, much less express a complex emotion – and here he was, reading and quiet and calm.

Later that night, Tad showed me just how far he has come.  I was helping him get his pajamas on when he gave me a dazzling grin.  “Mama, I not angry with you anymore!  Can I have a hug?”  he said, holding his arms wide.

Hours later, he realized that the anger that he had been feeling had gone away.  He realized it.  And then he verbalized it.

I hugged the stuffing out of him.

3 Responses to “Tad Speaks – Being Angry”

  1. Ressis
    October 4th, 2011 09:33

    Don’t suffocate him!

  2. tibby
    October 4th, 2011 09:59

    Lovely! I’ve got a big smile from reading this! 😀

  3. Captain
    October 4th, 2011 18:26