Shopping With Boys
The shopping trip started off well enough…
However, things took a strange turn when Rerun needed to go to the bathroom.
Tad went with him and stood outside the door. At some point near the end of the bathroom usage, there was a loud CRASH. Rerun screamed. The glass vase, holding a bouquet of fresh flowers, lay broken all over the floor. It is an open question whether Rerun caused this crash at all – he insists he never touched it.
As I tried to calm him down, and workers close off the bathroom to clean up the glass, Rerun sobbed out “I’M GOING TO BE ARRESTED!!!” This is caused by the completely coincidental appearance of two uniformed police officers, who had been parked outside when we came in, who were just randomly picking up a few snack items/salads before heading out. Rerun was uncontrollably crying at this point, and hid under the cart basket as I pushed it around, his wailing making it easy to track us throughout the entire store.
During this time, Tad was trying to console him with random platitudes. And when I say “random,” I mean Tad is saying things like, “it’s okay, Rerun, sharing is caring” at which point I absolutely lost it. Then Tad also looked at me and said, “I think Rerun needs a hobby.”
Me: “TAD STOP TALKING. You are the king of non sequiters!!!”
Tad: “I have plenty of sequiters!”
On my way out of the store, having nearly broken a rib from trying to keep it all in, I called the Webmaster, told him the whole story, and laughed so hard I was crying in the parking lot. This is our life – broken glass, Drax-like comments, and hysterics for all.
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