A crappy day

And I mean that in the most literal sense.

Yesterday was my first day on my own with the Munchkins. The Webmaster went back to work, and I became a full-time mom with a vengeance – meaning that I have no time of my own. Now generally, Baby Boy Munchkin is pretty mellow and laid-back – my theory being that he’s already figured out in his short life that there is no way that he can compete with his sister, so why bother? He does fuss when he is hungry or is feeling insecure (not swaddled up and is flailing arms around). But there are still times when he needs my undivided attention.

So, I was changing his diaper and it became too, too quiet in the living room, where the Munchkin was playing. I had had to change the baby three times – he tried to aim and fire at me, then immediately pooped in the clean diaper I had just put on him, then repeated the pooping in another clean diaper. So this took longer than I had anticipated, and by the time I was done, it was dangerously silent.

I found the Munchkin fingerpainting with her own excrement on the carpet, her clothes, and a little photo album that she has with pictures of family and friends in it. If you are an aunt or uncle of the Munchkin, let’s just say that your photo was artfully touched up. Sorry. Ditto and apologies to the Brain and Head.

I had to put the baby down and haul the Munchkin off to an immediate bath, since she was that much of a mess. I was so mad. There were no bubbles in that bathtub, let me tell you. While she sat and soaked, I prepared a load of laundry, scrubbed the carpet, used Clorox wipes to clean off her photo album (all the pictures are in plastic sleeves, so it was just a wipe-up job). After I scrubbed her off and got her out of the tub, dried and dressed, I tossed her in the crib. It was past naptime, and she badly needed one. Then all hell broke loose.

I was so angry. I hadn’t spanked her, and I hadn’t yelled. I was furious, but I knew that I would regret punishing her if I did anything at that moment. However, leaving her in the crib wide-awake was just about as good a punishment as I could cook up. She began to scream at the top of her lungs – just scream. By this time, her brother decided to join in. They were both in safe, secure places where they couldn’t hurt themselves. I kept reminding myself of that as I started the laundry, finished the clean-up job, and tried to gather what was left of my sanity.

I ended up in the Munchkin’s room, with Baby Boy on my shoulder and balanced with one hand as I stood over the Munchkin, rubbing her back to calm her down enough to nap with my other hand. At that point, with both of them calming down and quiet, I felt like a dishrag – wrung out. Once the Munchkin was asleep, the baby and I left her room and sat down in the living room so I could try to get a hold of myself. This was a little too much “trial by fire” on my first day alone.

24 hours later, I am quite calm when speaking about or writing about this – as opposed to being in tears. In fact, I can see where it is somewhat funny. And today my mother and sister came over to help me clean and play with the kids, so I had extra hands. But I have lived through a bad hour in a truly crappy day. And I’m here to tell the tale. We’re all alive, relatively clean, and the Munchkin is wearing blue jeans today, and will from now on wear jeans, capris or something long enough to keep prying fingers out of diapers. Thank God that summer is ending (at least in the Northwest) and she won’t melt in long pants.

I’m telling her first boyfriend this story. That, in the end, might be the ultimate punishment.

2 Responses to “A crappy day”

  1. Deanna’s Corner » Blog Archive » A classic repeat
    April 5th, 2006 01:38

    […] I went to a baby shower yesterday evening for a soon-to-be first-time mother at our church. The women who were gathered there were invited to share “horror” stories from their early parenting days. Some made us all laugh, others made us gasp. I was the youngest mommy to speak, and I told this classic tale from last summer, which is the story of my first day alone with both kids after Baby Boy’s birth. That I can tell this story and laugh means that I’m either maturing and can see how far I’ve come since then… or that I’m exacting revenge on the Munchkin by repeating this story whenever I get the chance. […]

  2. Deanna's Corner » Blog Archive » All By Myself
    March 23rd, 2010 10:02

    […] Rerun was born.¬† So I was on my own with all three kids for the first time.¬† Comparing it to the first day that I was alone with Ane and Tad, it was a piece of […]