Are these the children we really want to take on vacation?

V-Day is approaching… Vacation Day.

To put this into context – we last took a “family” vacation in the spring of 2007, when the Captain and Q-Bee were here for Easter. And that was only a few nights away. I, in a moment of insanity, took the kids by myself to Missouri to visit the Captain and Q-Bee for a week. But the Webmaster didn’t go with us.

This time, all four of us will be getting on a plane together. Thankfully, we have a direct flight and the kids fly very well (thanks to poppylocks and our portable DVD player), and as a bonus, we don’t even have to change time zones.

However, I’m not sure I really WANT to take Ane and Tad on vacation.

Their sleep habits recently leave something to be desired. Tad has discovered that he does not like sleeping in hot weather, and this has led to very restless sleeping. Last Friday, he decided to try and climb into bed with us – wide awake and ready to play – at 4:45 am. Not cool, buddy.

The Webmaster put him back in his room. Tad retaliated by waking up Ane at 5:15, and both of them sprung on us, asking for breakfast. Their father pronounced that breakfast was, at minimum, 2 hours away, and promptly fell back asleep. I climbed out of bed and crashed on the living room couch to make sure that the kids didn’t decide to play demolition derby. Tad wanted to snuggle – and he fell asleep on top of me at 7 am. He was out for TWO HOURS. And he is dead weight when he’s asleep. It was like having a sack of potatoes sleeping on me.

When he woke up, he was cranky. Thankfully, he did nap later that day.

Saturday, he woke up at 4:30 am. The Webmaster marched him back to his room, because he was still tired. He fell back asleep and woke up at 7:30.

Saturday night, I said to the Webmaster, “Murphy’s Law – we need them up early for church, so they will be sleeping in tomorrow morning.”

I had to wake the kids Sunday morning at 8 am. They were both still fast asleep.

This morning, Tad climbed into bed with us at 4:30 am. He likes to sleep between us. Since we had the ceiling fan going in our room, it was considerably cooler than his, and I didn’t have the heart to kick him out – especially since he promptly fell back asleep and, unlike his father, he doesn’t snore. He woke up at 7:30, ready to take on the day.

I can handle 7:30 easily. 5 am, I have issues.

*****

Tad is currently on a hot dog embargo. Unless it is in his macaroni and cheese (thus making it gourmet mac and cheese), this boy who once thought that hot dogs were the best meat in the world now won’t touch it, let alone eat it.

Note to self: Do NOT buy Tad hot dogs/corn dogs in Disneyland.

Yesterday was our annual church summer picnic potluck. As always, too many desserts, not enough salads, and hot dogs, Polish dogs, and hamburgers provided by the church. Knowing that Tad wasn’t going to eat a hot dog, I packed what might be one of the handiest shortcuts known to momkind – Uncrustables.

I remember scoffing when these first came out. After all, I could make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at home and bring them along to wherever we were going!

Oh, what a fool I was. Uncrustables come frozen, so they can keep everything else in your lunchbox cool while they thaw out. And if you get them in the giant box at Costco, they come in the “larger” size of 2.8 ounces, instead of the standard grocery store size of 2 ounces.

Tad downed 2 Uncrustables and Ane ate one while the Webmaster fought his way through the long potluck line.

Unfortunately, I can’t take (and have no good opportunity to buy) Uncrustables while we’re in California. I am packing peanut butter crackers along, though.

*****

The Webmaster took Ane, met up with Doc and the Brain, and they all went to see WALL-E this last Saturday. The kids loved it. The guys loved it.

Later, the Webmaster and Ane met up with Tad and me to do a little shopping. Ane began whining uncontrollably. Finally, after finishing up, I bought myself a blended strawberry lemonade from the Barnes & Noble Cafe (more on this tomorrow). I was sharing with everyone – and then noticed that Ane’s whining had abruptly stopped. I checked my watch, and realized it wasn’t because the straw was in her mouth.

“We’ve really got to make sure that the kids get their snacks and meals on time while we’re on vacation,” I said to the Webmaster.

“Why?”

“I know why Ane’s been fussing. Low blood sugar.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s nearly 2 o’clock and she hasn’t had lunch. Yes, I’m sure!”

*****

Sigh. Maybe once we’re on our way, Ane and Tad will magically become compliant and wonderful and we will have a trip unmarred by whining, temper tantrums, and picky eaters.

Yeah, and elephants other than Dumbo might fly.

This entry was posted on Monday, June 30th, 2008 at 9:41 am and is filed under Children, Vacation Tales.
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